Within the Stillwater community, a steady, powerful partnership is at work—one that offers safety, healing and hope to victims of sexual and domestic violence. At the center of this effort are Wings of Hope Family Crisis Services and Stillwater Medical, home to trained sexual assault nurse examiners, or SANE nurses. Together, these organizations ensure survivors are met with compassion, advocacy and a path forward.
Brandi White, executive director of Wings of Hope, explains the vital role the shelter plays in the community.
“We’ve been around since 1979, and we see about 200 people through our shelter each year,” she said. “Primarily, we’re serving victims of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking. There’s no demographic when it comes to domestic violence. Our clients come from every walk of life, every socioeconomic and racial background. We serve about five counties with most of our services being provided in Payne County.”
Payne County reflects statewide patterns: nearly 40% of women and 38% of men in Oklahoma experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes, according to the Oklahoma State Department of Health. This is consistent with the state ranking among the highest for domestic violence across the U.S., so the need in this area is great.
Wings of Hope partners with many organizations and entities in the counties it serves to give victims the best chance for healing. One of these partners is Stillwater Medical, which provides sexual assault exams to victims.
Wings of Hope Board Member Heidi Gilbert is a registered nurse at Stillwater Medical and leads the SANE program there, ensuring there are specially trained nurses to care for victims when they need it most.
The SANE exam is a critical step for survivors of sexual violence. The priority for SANE nurses is to first perform a thorough physical assessment to identify any injuries requiring medical attention. Survivors are also offered prophylactic medications, support, and referrals to community resources. Once urgent health needs are addressed, nurses may collect trace evidence—always within a trauma-informed, controlled environment where survivors are empowered to make decisions at every step of the process. If desired, volunteers are present to be patient advocates. Lee Bird, a long-time volunteer with both the hospital and Wings of Hope, is one of these advocates.
Bird, who began working in crisis support in 1978, became a sexual assault response advocate, or SARA, through extensive training after retiring from Oklahoma State University in 2019. She is one of the people who sits with survivors in the ER, walking them through the process with empathy and clarity.
“Physical evidence goes away pretty quickly,” Bird explains. “If you want to collect it, it has to be done right away.”
The goal of the SANE exam is to do that but also give the victim back control. SANE exams are offered at no charge, regardless of whether the survivor chooses to report to law enforcement. Survivors are never required to make a police report; some may not be ready immediately after an assault, and others may choose never to report at all. Their care and choices are always respected.
“We try to put the victims in charge of a day they’ve been out of control,” said Bird. “They have not been listened to in some cases and can be uncertain or frightened. So, we place them entirely in charge of what will happen in the exam room.”
SARA advocates and SANE nurses collaboratively join forces to offer a victim a sense of agency following an assault. White praised these relationships.
“The coordination between the nurses and our staff, being able to support a victim together and show that united front is really important,” White emphasized. “We are lucky to have this partnership. I know this doesn’t exist everywhere.”
In some surrounding communities, there are no SANE-trained nurses. Survivors may have to drive an hour or more or even wait a day to receive the care they need.
“It’s horrible,” White adds. “But here, we have nonprofits, service agencies, the hospital, the city and law enforcement all working together. The partnerships are incredible.”
In Oklahoma, as domestic violence and sexual assault continue to increase, forever altering lives, it can be easy to get discouraged. The conjoined work of Wings of Hope and Stillwater Medical create a place where survivors are heard, believed and supported.
“I encourage people that are interested in the SARA training to do it because it really is important. Even if they don’t volunteer, they can talk about it with their friends and be a support system,” Bird said.
Wings of Hope Family Crisis Services exists to break the cycle of violence by providing safety, hope and empowerment. It provides safe and confidential services to victims of interpersonal violence and seeks social change through community awareness and client advocacy. If you are experiencing violence, Wings of Hope has a 24-hour crisis helpline. Call 1-800-624-3020 to request immediate support.
