For a decade, Tonya Ingram has been walking with others through their cancer journey. She’s never battled the disease personally, but she’s a licensed counselor who serves as the oncology social worker at the Stillwater Cancer Center. She’s specially trained to help others in their time of need, and she has easy access to resources that can support them on the journey.
“If there’s one common thing I see in patients who are feeling distress, it’s most often the fear of the unknown,” Ingram said.
Stillwater Cancer Center has put systems in place to try to help address this, ensuring each patient meets with a nurse navigator for education about their unique treatment plan. Ingram partners with the nurse navigator to help patients identify coping strategies, financial strains and stressors, and resources that can help. That could include gas gift cards to cover their travel expenses, funded by the Karman Korner resale shop in downtown Stillwater, or getting involved in a support group to build community with others.
A cancer support group is a safe, compassionate space where patients, survivors, and sometimes caregivers come together to share their experiences, challenges, and victories throughout the cancer journey. Melinda Wilson is a breast cancer survivor who now co-leads a support group in Stillwater. She had little exposure to support groups when she first contacted Ingram, but she knew it was something she needed.
“All I wanted during this journey was to be able to walk alongside other people who were facing, or had faced, the same thing,” Wilson said. “It is really important because we all have friends and people who support us, but there is something very different about having people who have walked that journey before you.”
Breast cancer can be especially challenging to overcome. It touches not only a patients’ health but also their sense of identity and self-image. The treatment process is often long and exhausting, stretching over months or even years. Physical changes such as hair loss, surgical scars, or the removal of a breast can profoundly affect how a woman feels about her body and femininity. These changes often serve as visible reminders of illness, making it difficult to feel “normal” even outside of treatment.
For these reasons, Stillwater Cancer Center offers a support group specific to breast cancer. The group meets on the third Thursday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the Stillwater Cancer Center lobby. Wilson and her co-leader Stephanie Krenn are certified facilitators through Project31. Project31 is an Oklahoma-based foundation that provides community for breast cancer survivors and their families.
For others battling cancer of any type, caring for a family member or sharing as a survivor, the Stillwater Cancer Center offers a support group on the second Thursday of the month at 6:30 p.m. in the Stillwater Cancer Center lobby. Coley Smithton, an oncology nurse at Stillwater Cancer Center, leads this group.
For Smithton the group is more than just a service to others, she said it’s deeply fulfilling for her. “Just being able to come together and be vulnerable with people is really important,” Smithton said. “You may not know them, but you are walking a similar path in life. It builds such a quick connection.”
She looks for activities the group can do together to rest and recharge, like chair yoga. She said local businesses including Chick-fil-A and HTeaO have donated refreshments so the group can eat together as they connect.
Charlie Cail is one member who cared for his wife when she was battling cancer. After her death, he’s found great support from this group in his grief.
“My daughter and I both decided that we would try to meet with them as we could, and it’s helped us kind of work our way through the aftermath of losing my wife, and her mom,” Cail said. “It’s wonderful to have this community and group of people.”
No two cancer journeys are the same. Patients, survivors and caregivers are facing the unknown, but they don’t have to go it alone. Stillwater Cancer Center is committed to providing resources that meet them where they are and offer hope.
“Oftentimes patients will feel weak because they’re scared,” Ingram said. “I try to remind them that I see them as strong and courageous because they keep coming even when it’s hard. They keep walking on their cancer journey, no matter the difficulty.”
